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March 27, 2023March 27, 2023

Purity Culture

Purity culture is the idea that a person (mostly women) must stay pure (virgin-like) to receive a God-ordained marriage. The message of the culture was that all we had to do was pray and wait on the Lord and serve in the local church. Then, magically and at the right time, the Lord would reward us with marriage.

Heavy emphasis was placed on abstaining from sex before marriage. The problem with the purity message was how we glorified marriage and purity, not God. There was little to no teaching on preparing to be a wife. There was no instruction for men to be husbands and develop self-control. From my experience, most of the education focused on women waiting on and travailing in the Lord.

The Problem

Let me preface this by saying there is nothing wrong with waiting on the Lord. When you wait on the Lord, He will renew your strength. I am also not advocating for sex outside of marriage. The problem was the implication that all we had to do was serve our church and wait on the Lord. Dating was practically deemed morally wrong. Emphasis was put on finding The One (Which isn’t biblically based.) Women were told to remain abstinent, pure, and holy. Men were told to follow the Lord and learn how to lead. Isn’t it funny how the purity message wasn’t preached as much to men as it was to women? Not funny, ha-ha, but funny weird.

The idea of “The One” was pushed so hard that it created anxiety, fear, and avoidant dating practices. The children of God were told to view one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, which made it slightly more difficult to find a mate. Sex was demonized so much that some couples report not enjoying it within the confines of marriage. Purity culture was convincing. It told us exactly what to do and how to get what we wanted–marriage and sex. All we had to do was serve God, so it seemed simple. Yet, why are so many of us disillusioned and breaking away from it and God altogether?

Selfish Hearts

Because purity culture was a scam, and we all fell for it. Purity culture had us base our relationship with God on a certain outcome, marriage. We became disillusioned, confused, and justifiably angry when we didn’t get married or eventually got divorced. I believe that behind all the prayers and purity-minded services were hearts that didn’t truly want Yahweh. We wanted what God would give us, not a relationship with Him. Purity messages were a convenient way to get people in the pews, especially women. Purity culture produced broken and angry people who are single or are in disastrous marriages. Granted, some marriages birthed out of purity culture are thriving, but we all can see the fallout of serving Yahweh selfishly.

The worst part is people are now mad at Yahweh. They are separating themselves from Him because of broken promises, yet those promises weren’t from Him; they were from the people who claimed to know Him. I acknowledge that it is a very tight line to walk. On one hand, there is a generation of people who wanted marriage and to please Yahweh. On the other hand, there are people who, although probably well-intentioned, took advantage of people desperately seeking answers, healing, and community.

Healing

The best part is that those answers, healing, and community are still available. They may not come in the package that we once thought they would, but they are there for those still seeking them. Now that we are older and wiser, it’s time to take back our autonomy. Yahweh is still the same gracious, kind, and loving God. For those who still desire marriage, there are plenty of men and women desiring the same marriage you do. For those who are hurt and broken, peace and comfort are available to you. To those who have may have left the faith, I pray you found what you were looking for. If not, Yahweh will always welcome you back with open arms, as He has done with all of us.

March 11, 2023March 11, 2023

Discipline and Legacy

woman holding neck staring on wall — Photo by Ogo on Pexels.com

As of late, I live at the intersection of legacy and discipline. The older I get, the more I think about getting my affairs in order and the legacy I want to leave behind. Of course, I want to leave money and houses, but I also want to leave something more precious. I want to leave a legacy that will impact this generation and those to come; one of righteous living.

Those who came before me left indelible marks and undeniable impressions. For me, the natural question is what will my future grandkids say about me? Who will they say I am? Will they know me as kind and compassionate? Or will they only know me from the money and houses I left to them? While I plan to do both, I prefer more of the former. I want to be known for leaving people in a place better than I found them. This leaves me to wonder, is my life a reflection of that now?

My Legacy

Should I leave this earth right now, could I honestly say that I lived so righteously that I influenced other people to come to Christ? Can I say that I followed Christ to the best of my ability in every instance? When I have children will they look at me like I look at my father– someone whose life has constantly displayed and proven the goodness of Yahweh?

In every trial, illness, and upset, I remember my father sitting us all down and speaking about the goodness of the Lord. I remember him leading us in prayer as a family. I remember him insisting I pay tithes and telling me the reasons why. This is how I want to be remembered. This is the legacy I want to leave—a testament to the goodness of our Father.

Discipline

So, as I look at my life right now I cannot honestly say that’s the total legacy I want to leave. Perhaps I have impacted some and given hope to others. But I now need discipline and intentionality to really live full out for God. Fortunately, God hasn’t called me home yet and there is still time to get it right. I can still leave the legacy I want to. I must remember that God has given me the self-discipline to do it. He has and will provide me with spiritual wisdom to achieve a life that proves His goodness. Through His Son, Yeshua, I know that nothing is impossible for me if I just believe and declare it.

From this day forward, I declare by the power Yahweh gave me through Yeshua that these mountains must move. I have the power, love, and discipline to leave an inheritance, a legacy that will benefit this generation and those to come. I will live a life that influences people to seek Christ for themselves. All I have to do is pray, listen, and then obey.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)

He answered, “Because of your little faith (your lack of trust and confidence in the power of God); for I assure you and most solemnly say to you if you have (living) faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and (if it’s God’s will) it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
Matthew 17:20 AMP

September 21, 2022September 21, 2022

Accidental Date

I went on a date by accident. What I thought was an innocent lunch between long-time friends ended up being a date. Let’s start at the beginning.

The Beginning

I have always wholeheartedly believed men and women could be friends. So, when I met this gentleman in 2014, we became fast friends. We talked on the phone and texted regularly. There were no romantic sparks, just genuine interest in one another’s lives. We met at church and hung out from time to time. Every time we talked, I laughed because our conversations were hilarious. We talked about everything from God to careers to our love lives. I enjoyed our friendship.

The Accidental Date

Due to the pandemic and life, we hadn’t seen each other in a while. So one day, my friend suggested we meet up for lunch. I agreed to lunch because we always have fun together. So, the day of the lunch comes, and I’m 1.5 hours late. I was dogsitting and lost track of time. When I looked at my phone, I had many missed calls and texts from him. I called and apologized and told him I’d be there in 5 minutes. (Which is 15 minutes.)

I arrived and didn’t initially see him, so I walked to the restaurant’s entrance. I got distracted by a loudspeaker announcing the going-out-business sale of a nearby store. As I was listening and wondering if I should visit the store after lunch, I saw a man with flowers standing by the entrance. I absent-mindedly thought that was sweet. He is probably surprising his girlfriend. When I got closer, I realized that the guy was my friend.

Surprise! Date by Accident

Confusion covered my face. I wondered if someone else was joining us and why my friend had waited to give the flowers to her since I was so late. Then he handed the flowers to me. I was shocked. I had no idea what to do or say. I’m sure my face showed what I thought because he asked me if I was okay. I finally came to my senses and muttered, “Yes, thank you.” Then we walked into the restaurant. The hostess sat us, and I quickly put the flowers onto a chair and shoved the chair under the table. I didn’t want to look at or even acknowledge them.

I pretended that everything was normal. We laughed, and we had a good time. I thought I had been successful in my attempt to avoid the flowers. Then, the manager asked if it was my birthday, pointing at the flowers. I could no longer ignore the flowers or my beaming friend. He was smiling so wide; that I wanted to go home. I politely told the manager no and decided to talk with my friend.

The Talk

I asked about the flowers. I could have been tactful, but it annoyed me. My friend said, “This is what you do on a date.” I was in disbelief. I asked why did he think this was a date. Then he confessed his feelings for me. I was so disappointed, and he could tell. I told him I did not have a romantic interest in him. I looked at him like a little brother. I considered it for two seconds, but I could not imagine him kissing me. So, that was that. We left and said we would still be friends, but I haven’t heard from him.

Friends

I couldn’t figure out why I was disappointed that my friend wanted to date me. After a lot of thought and prayer, I figured it out. It hurt to know he was never my friend, laying in wait until he thought I was available. When he produced the flowers, I knew I would lose a friend. I still believe men and women can be friends. Maybe we will be friends again. In the meantime, I’ll value the friendships I have even more.

Thanks for joining me on this journey,

Kim

July 8, 2022July 8, 2022

Craziest Date Ever

I went on three dates this year because I fell back from relying on online dating and was ensuring my heart was in the right place to receive the love I deserve. It seems I need to take a little more time because my last date was the craziest one ever.

The Beginning

I was spending a wonderful weekend with friends and family, so I decided to pop back on a dating app for a little while to see what was out there. I matched with this attractive man in a suit. His profile was excellent, and he talked a lot about faith and God. Excellent first impression. He then messaged me, and everything was normal. We messaged back and forth on the app for about two days, and then he asked for my number. I gave it to him because I always like to get off the app within 48 hours, and texting and phone conversation seemed to be the next natural step.

He’s asking the usual questions about what I like to do and where I like to go. Of course, I ask him the same questions in return. He says he is a monk and renounces the things of this world. I reply with laughing emojis because I assume he is joking. Little did I know he was serious. We continued to text about ordinary things and made plans to meet at a park.

The Meeting

I had never been to this particular park, but he sent me pictures and the address and told me when we should meet there. Before he left, he told me it would take him about an hour to get to the park. I looked the park up, and it would only take about 15 minutes. I left 20 minutes before our meeting time. He called me when I was about 10 minutes from the park. He said he was there and would start singing into the lake. Now, we agreed to sing at the park. It sounds a little ridiculous, but I thought it would be fun and cute at the time. Admittedly I was thrown off by the lake part when he mentioned it on the phone, but I decided to ask about it when I arrived. I commented that I was still on the way, and he arrived early. That’s when I found out he ran to the park. I was confused, to say the least. Why did he run to the park in this heat? What’s in the lake? Why do you want to sing into it? Instead of asking all these questions, I ignored my better judgment and proceeded to the park.

The Crazy

I pull up to the park, and it’s a Buddhist temple. It looks beautiful, with the afternoon sun reflecting off the statues and flowers. In my mind, I’m rehearsing the questions I failed to ask earlier. I get out of the car and walk in the direction of the lake, which is a large pond. Then I see a man, who looks like my date, running towards me. The only problem is this man is wearing a blue bathrobe with yellow nunchucks. All the questions leave my mind, and I’m thinking, what is going on? Who is this man running towards me? He’s also being slowly followed and yelled at by an Asian woman. Then she starts gesturing at me to leave too. He jumps into my car and says let’s go. I’m so confused. I know this is the man I’m supposed to meet, but my brain can’t comprehend everything that is going on. Despite all that, I hop into the driver’s seat and ask what is happening? He tells me that the “park” is private property owned by the woman yelling at us. She doesn’t want us there, and we have to leave.

Answered Questions

Now that he’s in my car, I can closely inspect him. He’s sweaty, wearing shorts, a blue flannel bathrobe, and nunchucks around his neck. I was stunned. He was so musty I had to let the windows down. Still not sure why I continued with the date, but I drove to another park. That’s where he answered all of my questions. He ran because he didn’t have a car. Why doesn’t he have a car? Because he is a monk and gave up all of his worldly possessions. God directed him to live a simpler life. I don’t question people when they say God told them something. (But he has a cell phone and internet and uses dating apps).

His religion is also why he has on a robe and nunchucks. On top of being a monk, martial arts is his religion. At this point, I’m just asking clarifying questions. So, we walk around and talk about the most absurd things. Some of our conversations included the architecture of stairs, porches, ninjas, and how to keep track of what is real and what’s not. That’s when I decided to cut my losses and get home while I could. I made up an excuse about needing to use the bathroom, and then I drove home and let him run back home.

Conclusion

My primary takeaway from this date is that I am far too nice. The date should have ended when I saw a man running toward me in a bathrobe. I didn’t have to be mean, but I would have been within my rights to leave. He brought a weapon to the date, dressed inappropriately, and was musty. Those are more than enough reasons to end the date. Yet, I didn’t want to offend, so I continued with the antics. Thank God I was able to get home safely. I’m glad the only thing that happened was I could walk away with a funny story. From here on out, I will exercise the power of my no.

May 16, 2022May 16, 2022

Going Outside

I went from having two dates per week to having only three dates this year. Why the sudden change? Well, I had a “boo-thang” and wanted to be in a real relationship. He tried to keep it as is. So, I pursued what I wanted. Deciding to leave hurt me, but I didn’t realize how much. I tried to date, but I wasn’t up to it. So, I gave dating a little break. Now I feel fully ready to jump back into the dating pool but with some changes. I’m going outside!

Online Dating

Online dating was my jam! I was flirty and fun and had a wonderful experience or a great learning lesson with every man I met. I created a profile that I felt best showed who I was and why someone should swipe on me. This time around, however, I felt like I needed to do something different. I do not want to rely on online dating to meet men solely. So, I’m going outside!

Going Outside

The thing about meeting men outside is that I have to go out to do it. That’s probably why I excelled at online dating. I didn’t have to go outside. The most I had to do was swipe and respond to messages. That low effort allowed me to date. Do not get me wrong. I still had to be intentional and get in the mindset to attract and meet men, even online—intention matters.

So, I asked myself, what would my ideal man be doing on a Saturday afternoon? What do I want to do on a Saturday afternoon? Do I like to volunteer? Do I want to lay back and chill while drinking a frappuccino? The answer is yes to both. The next step is to go out and do those things. Yet, why do I find myself at home night after night? Am I ready for what I say I want? Do I believe that this is indeed possible for me? Can I put in the effort needed to achieve the goal I want?

Becoming

Going outside is just the first step. Logically one would think that it would be easy. Go to events and talk to men. Be open, smile a lot, and make men believe that you are interested and interesting. My friends and I had this quote we chanted to ourselves before going out. We would look at each other and say, “ Stop, Stare, Speak,” about attracting men. Then we would go out and do it. It actually worked!

It took me so long to recognize when men were flirting with me, and sometimes, I still think I’m that same confused girl. Though I’m not where I want to be, I must give credit to the woman I am becoming. I am more supportive; am I genuinely happy with my life and where it’s going. I have people around me who love and encourage me. I am creating the life I’ve always dreamed of.

Time to Go Outside

While I took this break, from dating, I made sure that my heart was in a good and healthy place to receive the love I deserve. This time around feels different. I’m sure of what I want and who I am. I know what I need to work on, and I’m putting in the work to improve. I’m looking for someone on the same journey. So, here’s to going out and meeting the man God has for me.

Be sure to check out https://kimmcauley.com/dusty-man-trap/.

March 14, 2022March 14, 2022

Dusty Man Trap

Overall, dating has been fun and exciting. I have met some great guys and some dusty crusties. But recently, I fell into a dusty man trap. I usually don’t dwell too much on unpleasant experiences, but sometimes it’s necessary. Here’s how I fell into a dusty-man trap.

I always protect the innocent, so I’ll call this guy Gary. Sorry to anyone named Gary. It’s not personal. I have five things a guy must meet before I decide to go on a date with him.

Christian
Have a job
Have a car
Have his own place to stay
No more than 1 child, but preferably none

How it Started

I mentioned those criteria because I went out on two dates with a guy who didn’t meet any of them unbeknownst to me. He was a dusty man. Let’s start at the beginning. I met Gary back in the early part of the year. We messaged and talked for a few weeks, but for whatever reason, we stopped talking. I don’t remember why we stopped; I remember that we did.

Then summer hits, and I get a text from an unknown number. I respond out of curiosity. It’s Gary! We chat for a while and decide to go out. I asked why we initially stopped talking during this chatting, and he changed the subject. Looking back, that should have been my first red flag.

We had trouble finding the time to go out because I’m a busy woman. I don’t cancel the plans I already made for a date. So we talked for about two weeks before we met up. During this time, I asked all the questions to make sure he met my first date criteria. He lied, but I had no way of knowing at the time.

The Meetup

A couple of days before we are supposed to go out, he calls and says he has to see me. I said we’re supposed to go out soon, can’t you wait? He said no, he had to see me right away. This is Sunday morning, and I’m getting ready for church. I didn’t have time for a meet and greet. He kept calling and texting until I finally agreed to meet him. This should have been my second red flag.

I get ready fast and meet him at an agreed-upon location near my church. I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to invite him to the church I’m always talking about. It’s late June or early July, but it’s super hot either way. The air in my car isn’t working that well, so I’m sitting there sweating. Here comes Gary rolling up. He hops out of the vehicle in the most unflattering outfit I’ve ever seen. He had on a shirt with holes, basketball shorts, socks that didn’t entirely cover his ashy feet, and slides.

Disappointment

At this point, I’m thinking to myself, you just had to see me, and this is how you look? I’m super annoyed. He gets out of the car and saunters over like he is God’s gift to women. I purse my lips in preparation for nonsense to come out of his mouth. And it did. He starts talking about how he couldn’t wait until our date to see me.

He’s licking his crusty lips every five seconds. I was so distracted by his appearance I don’t remember what he said except that it could have waited until our date. I don’t say anything because I’m hot and annoyed. Plus, he looked dusty. I let him talk for about 5 minutes, then said I needed to leave. At this point, I’m devising a plan in my head on how to let him down quickly. But it didn’t go exactly as planned.

Falling Into the Trap

The next day I called him. We’re keeping it light at first, talking about everything and nothing. Then I hit him with I the I’m not romantically interested, and I think we should be friends. He says cool, but he would still like to hang out. I have no idea why, but I agree. This is how I fell into the dusty-man trap. As the week progresses, he calls me and says his car is in the shop and he lost his debit card. It sounds suspicious, but I say okay, do you want to hang out another time? He says no, he wants to see me again.

We go out, and he meets me at the location. I have no idea how he got there. We have an okay time. He pays for the date with a wad of cash. At this point, I’m determined to break things off. Then he asks me for a ride home. I give him one, and I am fussing at myself for going out with this dusty, crusty man on my way back to my house. Mind you; he didn’t dress any better for our date.

The more we talk, the more I find out about him. He doesn’t have a job. He also doesn’t have a stable place to live. He goes in-between family members’ houses. There’s nothing wrong with this. I get that people go through hard times, but why lie about it and try to date on top of that?

Lessons Learned

But I ended up going out with him again. Please don’t ask me why. Perhaps I needed to learn a lesson about smooth-talking dusty men. Maybe I thought I could help. In the end, I realized that I’m not the type of woman that can date potential. I need to see some actual results. I need to see your plan taking shape. I’m not asking any man to be at the final place, but I need to see steps taken in that direction.

I also learned not to be so hard on myself. I should not have gone out with Gary. There were a lot of red flags that I ignored because he had nice pictures online. Those pictures didn’t match reality, by the way. I serve a forgiving God who said there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. If I’m in Christ, which I am, why should I condemn and be so hard on myself? I had to forgive myself for being foolish, believing lies, and falling into a dusty-man trap. I survived, though. Now, I will pay attention to red flags.

I had to go back to God and find out what I want. I won’t be making a dusty man mistake again. I can move forward with the knowledge that God wants me to be happy and that I will be. Still out here dating, but I’m taking my time. Vetting men a little more than I used to. I’m grateful for the experience. Glad to know that God’s got me even when I mess up.

Thanks for joining me on my journey!

Kim

Strong Woman

Let’s talk about being strong. Life can be overwhelming at times. There is so much to do and so little time in which to do it. The standard advice is to push through, hang in there, be strong, or you’ve got this. This advice is well-intentioned. There is nothing wrong with any of these statements. Yet, how does this help the person who is tired of hanging on? What advice does one give to the strong woman who is tired of being strong?

Stop the Platitudes

Hang in there is easy to say. It’s been so overused that it isn’t thoughtful. The advice means well, but what is the person supposed to hang onto? For how long? Why must one continue to be strong or push through? Instead of taking the easy way out, genuinely ask how to help? What service can you offer to lighten the other person’s load? Is the other person even asking for help or just venting? Yes, it may take a little longer and require more conversation but stop saying a common phrase that seems helpful and offer some help or valuable advice.

Pray Strong Woman

Take the overwhelming thoughts and feelings to Yahweh in prayer. If you can’t pray because life is just too much, ask Yahweh for help. God knows what you need, and He will provide it. Find a scripture that relates to what you’re going through or how you want to overcome it and say it aloud. Praying scripture is beneficial because you don’t have to come up with the words when your heart is heavy. Reading the scripture to yourself also allows you to stop overthinking. It forces you to focus on something else.

Ask someone you trust to pray for you. This way, you are getting the feelings out and not going through a hard time alone. Let’s bear the burdens of one another. Reach out to that prayer warrior and have them pray to Yahweh on your behalf. Then allow them to continue checking on you and praying for you and even with you. Prayer with others will foster a genuine relationship and shows how God always provides in our time of need.

Do One Thing

No rule says you have to do all of the things all of the time. Can you delegate some tasks to someone? Can you cut the list down to what is only necessary? If none of that is possible, do one thing. Do not worry about the list, and do one thing that will ease your mind. Is it wiping the counters but not sweeping the floor? Do that one thing. Life is messy, and we are all overwhelmed. You don’t have to do it all by tomorrow. Do the one thing that will help you get the peace you deserve.

Rest Strong Woman

What if you’re too tired or stressed even to do that one thing? Well, take this opportunity and rest. Try not to worry about what’s next or look at the big picture. Watch a movie or eat a delicious meal. If possible, leave the stressful environment for a few hours to do something that sparks joy. You can also take a nap and sleep the worries away. The point is to rest and do something that is not overwhelming. Rest can make all the difference. Even Yahweh took a day to relax, and He never sleeps nor slumbers.

January 24, 2022January 24, 2022

The Power Within

So we all know the story about the prodigal son. The scripture where the son demands his inheritance and goes off and squanders it then returns home. The moral of the story is that no matter how far you wander away from home, God will always be there to welcome you back with open arms. Usually, when you hear that parable, it focuses on the prodigal son. Other times the focus is the elder son who stayed. His reaction of anger and resentment is treated as a precautionary tale of what not to do. I don’t often hear the perspective that while the elder son was resentful and angry, the father still offered him grace and comfort. The father tells the elder child, “…Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.” That’s the power within.

Blessings

The loyal, faithful, and obedient son always had access to the inheritance. Even while rejoicing over the prodigal son’s return, the father ran out to comfort and advised the elder son. The elder son had proximity, access, and his father’s ear. How often do we focus on someone else’s blessing when we had access to our Father the entire time? The loyal and obedient children are always in the presence of the Father. Why should those so near to God take it for granted by looking at another’s blessing?

Full Access

God has placed within us a power that we have access to all of the time. While comforting the elder son, the father says, “all that is mine is yours.” How often do we take our unlimited access to God and His kingdom for granted? All that is His is Ours. Lately, I’ve been feeling like the eldest child. I’m watching everybody else get to celebrate and bask in their blessings. While I don’t begrudge anyone their just deserts, I feel a little left out.

Which is what I imagine the elder son felt as well. Here I am in the field, working and being obedient. I watch from afar as others get celebrated and blessed, wondering when it will be my turn—forgetting that my Father is right there. I can go and talk to Him at any point in time.

The Power Within

All I had to do was ask, and it would be given to me because He is close to me. As a matter of fact, even when I was disobedient and willfully rebellious, He still celebrated me and called me back to Him. And I still had access to His entire kingdom to His full divinity when I returned. It seems a bit silly now. I have God, the Creator, near me, willing to comfort me, and I’m too concerned about when my blessing will come. He is always with me, including his peace, power, and might.

Rejoice

God’s power resides within me through his Holy Spirit. What shall I fear? Of whom do I have to be afraid? He is near; He inclines His ear to me. He is concerned about me. And it is through that invested power within; He can do exceedingly abundantly above anything I can ask or think. It’s all because of the power within. So, we have God and His power near and in us with any obstacle, challenge, or situation we face. Remember, no matter where we are, we have full access once we come to Him. We are His, and He is ours. Let’s use that power within to edify, support, and love. Our time is coming, and it’ll be sooner than we think.

January 18, 2022January 18, 2022

YOU LACK NO GOOD THING

The truth is we all believe we lack something. There are promises that we have yet to receive. We desire things that we do not have in our lives. Our hopes, dreams, and expectations have yet to come to reality. So how do we cope with a God who says we lack no good thing in Him, yet there are areas where we feel a lack?

Marriage

As I went to God in prayer with this question, I was advised to write down everything I lacked. The first was a husband/family. And this is something that I desire and something that I have not. Looking back over all of the people I have dated or were in a relationship with, only one person came close to what I would consider husband material. And even that relationship was a little off. So this begs the question, am I lacking a husband? Or is there just a space reserved in my life that God has yet to fill? Do I lack a relationship, or do I need to be more patient?

Lack of Money

Could we all use a bit more money? As Americans, we live in a capitalistic society that screams at us to earn more so we can buy more. Social media shows us the best and the latest. It’s easy to feel we lack by comparison. Money can solve a slew of problems. Yet, how do we cope with no money? God promised that we are the lender and not the borrower, but it feels like we’re always borrowing. I looked at how much I earned and how much I spent. Am I truly being a good steward over what God gave me? The honest answer is no. I can do much better with my finances. Though all my bills are paid, my savings and retirement accounts can be more prominent. If I want to be the lender, I must save and steward.

Perception of Lack

Is there something underneath the thing I perceive I lack? Because I don’t have a husband, do I think I am not worthy? Since I need more money, do I feel like I can’t receive more? How do I perceive myself in my God? Is He who He says He is? I will take Him at His word. God blesses us at our level of obedience. Do I have a lack, or is it a space where God can come in and be my strength and inspiration? I don’t want to fill my time and space with things not from God. Perhaps the lack I perceive isn’t a lack but an area in which I need to lean more on God. Maybe my perception is wrong. Instead of focusing on the unfulfilled desire, let’s focus on the One who can provide those desires.

Rejoice

So, I believe there is always an opportunity to rejoice. Amid a perceived lack, where can I find joy? I find joy knowing that God does hear and answer my prayers. I rejoice because He has blessed me so richly. God will give the desires of my heart when I delight in Him. I take account of what I have and give thanks. It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have. Let’s start to focus on what we do have. Once we focus on our blessings, we see that we lack no good thing.

January 11, 2022January 11, 2022

Discipline

Each year, with God’s help and grace, I select a word that will help guide my year. The word for 2022 is discipline. I chose this word because discipline is the only way I achieve God’s will and goals. I believe that God is ushering in a new season. This season of reaping the harvest will require just as much discipline as the season of sowing.

Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.
Galatians 6:9 AMP

Reaping

I’m not sure why I always thought of reaping the harvest, which is me sitting and quickly gathering the blessings God promised. Reaping is collecting things I have sown in faith. The harvest is me going out and getting out of the ground what I have put there. So my harvest depends entirely on me and my faith. My harvest depends on my discipline in the sowing and reaping seasons. God has given us a measure of faith, and it is the season to reap what I have sown.

Sowing

Did I sow what I was supposed to? Did I give up too soon to reap the harvest God has promised? If so, this is a lesson learned and a loss that I will get through. If not, then this is my season to be disciplined enough to go out and get what God has promised me. There will be joy in the harvest. I pray that I sowed enough.

But instead of dwelling on what might have been or what might not be, I’ve decided to be disciplined and put on the mind of Christ. I will not focus on what I have no control over. I know my responsibility from now on, and I am more than willing and capable of being disciplined and doing what I am supposed to do.

Discipline

So, discipline has three primary definitions; to instruct/train, correct, and a course of education. Here, I am speaking of the practice of training and correction. Discipline is a choice we make every day. Does this decision further God’s will? Will this choice get me closer to reaping my harvest? If yes, proceed. It seems a little too simple, right? The hard part comes when we have to say no to things we want to do but hinder our progress. The harvest is waiting. Let’s be disciplined enough to get it.

Joy

Let’s rejoice knowing that God is faithful. He promised that we would reap, and the time is here! Yes, it’s going to take time and discipline. Yes, it may have taken longer than we thought. But, it’s finally here. I don’t know what your harvest is but get it. The good news is that God has equipped you with the time, patience, resources, and whatever else you need. It’s time to celebrate.