Craziest Date Ever
I went on three dates this year because I fell back from relying on online dating and was ensuring my heart was in the right place to receive the love I deserve. It seems I need to take a little more time because my last date was the craziest one ever.
The Beginning
I was spending a wonderful weekend with friends and family, so I decided to pop back on a dating app for a little while to see what was out there. I matched with this attractive man in a suit. His profile was excellent, and he talked a lot about faith and God. Excellent first impression. He then messaged me, and everything was normal. We messaged back and forth on the app for about two days, and then he asked for my number. I gave it to him because I always like to get off the app within 48 hours, and texting and phone conversation seemed to be the next natural step.
He’s asking the usual questions about what I like to do and where I like to go. Of course, I ask him the same questions in return. He says he is a monk and renounces the things of this world. I reply with laughing emojis because I assume he is joking. Little did I know he was serious. We continued to text about ordinary things and made plans to meet at a park.
The Meeting
I had never been to this particular park, but he sent me pictures and the address and told me when we should meet there. Before he left, he told me it would take him about an hour to get to the park. I looked the park up, and it would only take about 15 minutes. I left 20 minutes before our meeting time. He called me when I was about 10 minutes from the park. He said he was there and would start singing into the lake. Now, we agreed to sing at the park. It sounds a little ridiculous, but I thought it would be fun and cute at the time. Admittedly I was thrown off by the lake part when he mentioned it on the phone, but I decided to ask about it when I arrived. I commented that I was still on the way, and he arrived early. That’s when I found out he ran to the park. I was confused, to say the least. Why did he run to the park in this heat? What’s in the lake? Why do you want to sing into it? Instead of asking all these questions, I ignored my better judgment and proceeded to the park.
The Crazy
I pull up to the park, and it’s a Buddhist temple. It looks beautiful, with the afternoon sun reflecting off the statues and flowers. In my mind, I’m rehearsing the questions I failed to ask earlier. I get out of the car and walk in the direction of the lake, which is a large pond. Then I see a man, who looks like my date, running towards me. The only problem is this man is wearing a blue bathrobe with yellow nunchucks. All the questions leave my mind, and I’m thinking, what is going on? Who is this man running towards me? He’s also being slowly followed and yelled at by an Asian woman. Then she starts gesturing at me to leave too. He jumps into my car and says let’s go. I’m so confused. I know this is the man I’m supposed to meet, but my brain can’t comprehend everything that is going on. Despite all that, I hop into the driver’s seat and ask what is happening? He tells me that the “park” is private property owned by the woman yelling at us. She doesn’t want us there, and we have to leave.
Answered Questions
Now that he’s in my car, I can closely inspect him. He’s sweaty, wearing shorts, a blue flannel bathrobe, and nunchucks around his neck. I was stunned. He was so musty I had to let the windows down. Still not sure why I continued with the date, but I drove to another park. That’s where he answered all of my questions. He ran because he didn’t have a car. Why doesn’t he have a car? Because he is a monk and gave up all of his worldly possessions. God directed him to live a simpler life. I don’t question people when they say God told them something. (But he has a cell phone and internet and uses dating apps).
His religion is also why he has on a robe and nunchucks. On top of being a monk, martial arts is his religion. At this point, I’m just asking clarifying questions. So, we walk around and talk about the most absurd things. Some of our conversations included the architecture of stairs, porches, ninjas, and how to keep track of what is real and what’s not. That’s when I decided to cut my losses and get home while I could. I made up an excuse about needing to use the bathroom, and then I drove home and let him run back home.
Conclusion
My primary takeaway from this date is that I am far too nice. The date should have ended when I saw a man running toward me in a bathrobe. I didn’t have to be mean, but I would have been within my rights to leave. He brought a weapon to the date, dressed inappropriately, and was musty. Those are more than enough reasons to end the date. Yet, I didn’t want to offend, so I continued with the antics. Thank God I was able to get home safely. I’m glad the only thing that happened was I could walk away with a funny story. From here on out, I will exercise the power of my no.