Forgiveness in Greek means sending away, letting go, giving up debt, not condemning, or keeping no longer. Forgiveness is the hard work of Christianity. As believers, we must forgive those who harmed us. It seems like a simple request. Your sins were wiped away when you were forgiven, so give others the same forgiveness. Yet, the actual act of forgiving someone is hard. This begs the question, why is it so hard?
Hurt
Forgiveness is challenging because of the hurt suffered. The pain and humiliation are scars that we have to deal with. The insults and negativity are not easily forgotten. While forgiveness does not require forgetting, it does require letting go of the hurt and offense. Letting go means realizing and admitting the depth of the wound. There is no use in forgiving someone of the pain they caused if it is still there. Holding on to the pain, anger, resentment, or whatever harmful offense will only hurt you in the long run. Hurt people respond from their place of hurt. There is not enough room for darkness and light to coexist in our hearts. We must choose light. We have to let go of the pain. So, how do we let go of the hurt?
Process
Pain is a real-time reminder of the offense endured. It’s okay to start small. Admit the pain is real and still hurts. Confess to yourself and God that you want it gone. Ask yourself why you held on to it. I held on to my pain because I didn’t want to be hurt again. That reminder was in my heart so that no one could get too close. I refused to live that hurt again. Now, I see that I did not allow myself to feel the love destined for me by harboring the offense.
The consequence of me holding on to the pain was not experiencing the close relationships with others and God I desired. Your why and results may be different. It’s still important to get to the root of the issue. Getting to the source can take time. Letting go demands reflection and growth. We have to dig deep and give it away completely. The good news is that we don’t have to do this independently. We can rely on God and the people He’s surrounded us with to help us navigate this. Still, there seems to be more than just the pain that’s not allowing us to forgive fully.
Justice
After all of the hurt and suffering we endured, it seems like the other person does not deserve forgiveness. It does not seem fair. What justice is served by forgiving the person that caused so much offense and pain? It looks like they should suffer some too. With this mindset, everyone in the world would be in a constant state of suffering. There would be no relief. Thank God justice is left up to Him. Forgiveness requires faith because we have to trust that Yahweh will handle it. We are called to forgive. When has God ever led us astray? He would not ask us to do something that harms us. Therefore, forgiveness must benefit us. Although we may not see the justice, we feel we deserve, that doesn’t mean the offender won’t pay. After all, we reap what we sow. Looking to repay evil for evil isn’t justice.
Forgiveness
At this point, we have let go of the hurt and stopped seeking revenge. Now is the time to invite mercy and kindness into our hearts and forgive. Compassion allows us to understand that the offender was a hurt person operating out of that hurt. What kind of insecurities and pain were they covering to harm another person that badly? Only love can cover a multitude of sins. Only love can drive out fear, hate, and pain. In this world, we rarely see love in action. Let’s be the change we want to see. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Forgiveness may take time, but it’s possible. What is keeping you in the bondage of pain? Why not start the healing process and forgive today? Your reward will be great.
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Luke 6:35-36