I went from having two dates per week to having only three dates this year. Why the sudden change? Well, I had a “boo-thang” and wanted to be in a real relationship. He tried to keep it as is. So, I pursued what I wanted. Deciding to leave hurt me, but I didn’t realize how much. I tried to date, but I wasn’t up to it. So, I gave dating a little break. Now I feel fully ready to jump back into the dating pool but with some changes. I’m going outside!
Online Dating
Online dating was my jam! I was flirty and fun and had a wonderful experience or a great learning lesson with every man I met. I created a profile that I felt best showed who I was and why someone should swipe on me. This time around, however, I felt like I needed to do something different. I do not want to rely on online dating to meet men solely. So, I’m going outside!
Going Outside
The thing about meeting men outside is that I have to go out to do it. That’s probably why I excelled at online dating. I didn’t have to go outside. The most I had to do was swipe and respond to messages. That low effort allowed me to date. Do not get me wrong. I still had to be intentional and get in the mindset to attract and meet men, even online—intention matters.
So, I asked myself, what would my ideal man be doing on a Saturday afternoon? What do I want to do on a Saturday afternoon? Do I like to volunteer? Do I want to lay back and chill while drinking a frappuccino? The answer is yes to both. The next step is to go out and do those things. Yet, why do I find myself at home night after night? Am I ready for what I say I want? Do I believe that this is indeed possible for me? Can I put in the effort needed to achieve the goal I want?
Becoming
Going outside is just the first step. Logically one would think that it would be easy. Go to events and talk to men. Be open, smile a lot, and make men believe that you are interested and interesting. My friends and I had this quote we chanted to ourselves before going out. We would look at each other and say, “ Stop, Stare, Speak,” about attracting men. Then we would go out and do it. It actually worked!
It took me so long to recognize when men were flirting with me, and sometimes, I still think I’m that same confused girl. Though I’m not where I want to be, I must give credit to the woman I am becoming. I am more supportive; am I genuinely happy with my life and where it’s going. I have people around me who love and encourage me. I am creating the life I’ve always dreamed of.
Time to Go Outside
While I took this break, from dating, I made sure that my heart was in a good and healthy place to receive the love I deserve. This time around feels different. I’m sure of what I want and who I am. I know what I need to work on, and I’m putting in the work to improve. I’m looking for someone on the same journey. So, here’s to going out and meeting the man God has for me.
Be sure to check out https://kimmcauley.com/dusty-man-trap/.